The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
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i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
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I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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