I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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