It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
