i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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