Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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