I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
