I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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