Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
