i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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