shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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