...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
