is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
