Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Screwed.edu
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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