im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
