My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
