His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
