also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
