what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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