I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
