I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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