don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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