Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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