He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
