i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
