On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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