did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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