Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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