Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
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