Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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