NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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