You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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