I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I think I am morally bankrupt
I skipped work to stalk him.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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