I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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