I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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