I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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