Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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