I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
