I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Damn victory sex feels great
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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