Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
