i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
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