i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
