She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
