You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
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