I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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