i barfeds in our rink
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
