Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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