it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
