Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
