um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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