The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Are my feet made of real feet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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