i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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