I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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