i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
