pedialite and red bull = repair kit
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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