even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
