You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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