no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
3pm strippers are depressing
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
