You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
