did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
