shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
