In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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